She had set out with a few friends, but they had quickly fallen far behind her. It was no matter – they had all eaten little and slept even less in the last two days. They were weak and exhausted from fear, grief, confusion, and shock. Her friends were equally determined to help but lacked her strength and perseverance. If she had to fulfill her obligation and vows all alone, so be it. Her stomach was still twisted in knots of emotional pain. She tried to shrug off the uncontrollable bursts of tears that kept coming, they only made it harder for her to see the path she was trying so desperately to follow. In the cold morning air, she could still feel the salty brine of her tears flowing down her face. Her matted hair was loosely tied back in her haste to get to responsibilities. She felt some sense of urgency although she didn’t know why. Her duties would still be waiting for her when she arrived. They certainly weren’t going anywhere now.

 When she was little, she had strength and hope and determination to become something. She certainly had a lot of talent and intelligence. But life has its way of beating people down and stealing young dreams. Despite her bad start, her countless setbacks, and the stupidity and evil of other people, she had pushed on and made something of herself. She had become well to do as a single woman in a time when few ladies had the opportunity to be anything outside the home, or outside of living in the shadow of a man for that matter. But for all her accomplishments she could never cure the deep pain of the emotional scars that tormented her mind. Those dark and mocking voices that constantly ridiculed and shamed her, those condemning thoughts that wouldn’t go away no matter how much she accomplished, regrets and sorrows piled up until they loomed over her life like a mountain at the edge of a vast desert plain. The dark thoughts never left her alone. Until the day she met . . . . him.

 She had seen a large crowd gathered on the sand of the great lake, intrigued, she went over to investigate what was so fascinating that such a large group would stop their daily lives to gather this way. She heard his voice booming over the crowd long before she could get a glimpse of what he looked like. 

“Oh this is the new teacher, the prophet, the supposed miracle worker I’ve heard so much about” she thought to herself. 

Having never been a shy girl, she made her way carefully through the crowd to get a better view. His words had just finished as she stepped through the final row of people on the sand. He was being rowed back to shore by a fisherman. The rough and tumble fisherman who had loaned the prophet his boat to use the acoustics of the water to speak to such a large crowd. As he stepped from the boat onto the sand he looked straight into her eyes. With the one look she realized – he knew her. He knew all her secret thoughts, all her desires and dreams, and he even knew about the dreaded voices which constantly tormented her mind. He came directly towards her and in a few words spoken gently, firmly, and with authority – the voices fled. Peace filled her entire soul. In that moment she chose to follow this teacher no matter what the cost or how far he would travel. She instantly decided she would give up everything to learn from him and serve him. No matter the sacrifice, she would never question, and no act of service would ever be withheld. For the first time in her life, she experienced peace and love. 

Along the way they began calling her, the Magdalene. At first it was just a non-descript reference used to separate her from the numerous other women named Mary who followed Jesus. The others, all came from much better families and healthier backgrounds. Magdalene was her hometown. It was just a handle to describe where she came from, she had nothing more remarkable about her to use as an epitaph. Eventually it took on a different nuance. Magdala was the word for tower. “Mary the Tower” they called her because of the her strength of her convictions, her dedication to following Jesus, her service to others, and as a testament to her survival skills after enduring so much in life. She stood strong. She had earned that nickname.

Although her experience with Jesus was uniquely hers, she would see it repeated with thousands of others over the next few years. No matter how large the crowds grew she would come to learn that the teacher never saw crowds, he only saw individuals. His insights were profound, his touch healing, and his words carried the weight of heaven itself. And they had killed him for it. 

On this cold spring morning she was still grieving with the deepest of pain and sorrow. While she had wept for two days, the very universe itself had changed. She didn’t know it yet, but she was about to be blessed with incalculable joy.